Communication

Being in a relationship teaches you a lot of things. Not every relationship starts out the same way, nor does it have a template that guarantees success and longevity. Relationships will never have an expiration date because love is crazy and unpredictable. Each relationship is unique, but at its core some things remain constant. Over the next few posts, I want to talk about some of those constants, and my own take of what it's all about.

COMMUNICATION

Words are powerful. They can make you feel flattered or insulted, and therefore quite often misunderstood. Whether it is exchanged verbally (face-to-face, over-the-phone) or written, the intended tone will have varied ways of being interpreted, almost too often the wrong one. Actual verbal communications have a higher tendency of getting points across as opposed to written communication through text messaging, chat and email, simply because you actually hear the tone of the message.

Never put stock in written exchanges because chances are, you might just find yourself hurt, setting and prematurely lashing out. Every couple would have their own technique of "reading the mood" when it comes to communicating through non-verbal means, just to be sure they avoid jumping to conclusions. Admittedly, my girlfriend and I tend to have loads of misunderstandings whenever we chat over text, Viber or LINE, so you can imagine the squabbles we go through before we patch things back up again. How does it get resolved? Verbal communications.

It's also common knowledge that everyone has their imperfections and sense of brokenness. That truth extends to both parties in any relationship. If your day was shitty, don't ever expect your partner's day to be all sunshine, lollipops and rainbows because chances are, their day may have been just as shitty or even worse off. Be considerate and know your cues. If your partner comes off as being too irritated in spite of your attempts to lighten the mood, don't convert it into a reason to be pissed at them. Allow them to explain themselves first before you pass judgement.

Oftentimes this is exactly what kickstarts an argument; being close-minded to the point that you'll deny any excuse they give, even if that was really the case. It evolves into pointing fingers, ultimately making the other feel guilty that one feels compelled to apologize, even if they weren't at fault.

In summary, communication is one of the vital aspects of any relationship. Never close yourself from your partner if you can, as that would be the best way you can understand and learn more about each other.