Because more than a year has passed...

If and when I have the time to actually sit down and write a blog entry like this are indicators that I'm not: spending my time in class, spending my time with Kai, doing schoolwork or sleeping.

Sometimes I get surprised with the whole idea that when I started this new blog, I had all the time in the world to type entries about anything that came to mind to serve as an interesting topic. Nowadays I realize that I've gone through almost a week without so much as a short blog entry to keep this going. On the upside, that tells you that I don't have all the time in the world to be sitting down, typing away these types of things regularly.

I'm already three days late for this, but it's still something that should be contemplated upon, especially with someone so dear to your heart. My lolo's death anniversary was last Monday, August 24. I can still recall that Sunday noon when it was confirmed that he had passed away. The loss was overwhelming that I couldn't stop crying.

Growing up in the one household that I've known my entire existence has been a place full of memories. From the very beginning, Lolo Tomas was living with us, so he literally watched us grow. He took care of us almost as much as our own parents did, and spoiled us on some occasions as well. Taking us out to eat for an afternoon snack, bringing home some food from his trips to play Bingo were one of the things I can still recall.

A French Baker baguette and a roll of Mentos Spearmint are perhaps two food items that I would often associate with my lolo. My interest in that particular flavor of Mentos was because of him, though I don't quite remember how. And growing up, I was quite a fan of bread (with dreams to become a baker back then) and would often ask him if I could have a portion of the bread he bought.

At the time he was hospitalized, I felt a wave of nauseousness every time we went to visit him. I guess you could say that seeing my grandmother pass away on a hospital bed right before my eyes more than three years ago would be a cause for that. I could never prevent my tears from falling every single time we would go to see him. Oh how I miss him.

Last Sunday, we brought his urn home and invited some relatives over to pray for him. Seeing that urn after a year immediately brought back memories of the mourning period; nights spent at the funeral parlor, late nights crying myself to sleep and just more tears falling when he was placed in the columbarium.

But I really hope you were happy during your first year in heaven, Lolo. You're with Grandma Rose, Uncle Art, Uncle Arthur, Ninang Cecile and others, after all. Love you and miss you much.